Nature vs Nurture

Two readers who commented on The Games Men Play post seem to think that gender behavior is learned. But that's not exactly what 'games' is about. It's about a quality of YANG energy. And women who are very yang will have some of that behavior, too. Just not to the degree a very yang male will.

And inherent in yang energy is the need to challenge oneself. That is a part of the natural order. What is not a part of the natural order is when we try to reinforce what we mistakenly believe are male or female traits. That is perverse. It is perverse to push a boy to be more aggressive, to stifle his emotions, swallow his pain. Just like it is perverse to hold an energetic little girl back because she is noisy and give her dolls and tiny ovens with fake food.

The REASON it is perverse? Because you don't have to teach people gender behavior. It is what they are born with and each of them will find their way to what it means to be male or female.

I think there are a bunch of reasons people get upset at the notion that certain gender behaviors are innate.

One reason is that women think it means they will be prevented from doing, or seen as not capable of doing, whatever men do. But short of standing up to pee and being able to aim it, women have proved they can do anything men can do. The fact that they can accomplish what men can does not mean, however, that they must always do it the same way that men do. We are different, but we are damn sure equal.

Another reason is that what most people think of as 'gender' behavior is really an overblown caricature of what it means to be male or female. The stuff people are socialized to think of as gender-related. The brainwashing of society, supported by all forms of media, to keep people in roles that don't rock the boat.

The kinds of things I am writing about are more subtle. And have to do more with male and female energy as expressed, in different ways, by men and women. Understanding and accepting our differences will allow us to understand and accept our own strengths.

Each of us has our own combination of yin and yang. There are very yin men and very yang women. But men, by nature, are more yang; and women, by nature, are more yin. That's NATURE not NURTURE. And it's a good thing. Because we need every permutation of energetic balance in order to survive.

And p.s. --
It might be helpful to read the post entitled "Understanding Yin and Yang."