tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5720329256022513491.post1684346806080948620..comments2023-07-04T08:23:51.949-05:00Comments on The Tao of Gender: Real Beauty and the Beast of AdvertisingMary Trainahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11247620102019034100noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5720329256022513491.post-16905005667164713952011-10-03T13:50:11.817-05:002011-10-03T13:50:11.817-05:00Yep. I know it was just a passing comment from you...Yep. I know it was just a passing comment from you... just words... but I don't find that cosmetic changes make me (or us) feel good. Any time I apply make-up (or see myself wearing it in photos) I feel like I'm being a coward, not the real me, and that makes me feel uncomfortable and MORE insecure.<br /><br />I spent a year where we lived with no electricity, and many of those months with no plumbing or toilet (chemical toilet only). I "dressed up" for church, meaning, hubby, our five young kids and I went to the nearest truck stop and had our weekly shower, dressed in clean clothes, brushed hair, and those of us who had shoes, and were willing to wear them, put shoes on. <br /><br />We certainly did not shine with the same exterior gloss as many (all) of the other families, but I refused to believe that theirs was a better way. Much better to have my peace of mind than to stress myself (and lose my inner calm) in an effort to appear externally perfect. As you know, perfection is an inside job. :) <br /><br />I believe it was a virtue to encourage myself to stand true to the value that it is better to focus on the important things (love, family, survival, security) than to care at all about other people's judgements of my exterior. <br /><br />I think it is kindness to be true to myself - it gives people greater freedom to be themselves when they see someone who is willing to take all risks to be themselves, with no regard for social fears, breaking the norms deliberately. Maybe I mourn a little that my face is getting wrinkles and sunspots, that I can't look at myself in the mirror and think my appearance is a work of art... but I boosting my ego is not necessary. Letting go of my ego is what is going to put me most firmly into the arms of Love.Fionanoreply@blogger.com